Wow. What a way to come back to my blog. A lot of you may think, this is kinda depressing, but it happens. Life isn’t perfect, not in the slightest. I’ve been debating coming back to my blog for a while, on and off like a light switch. But this morning, I felt the urge to sit and write this post, so here I am (although now I’m here a lot of what I wanted to say has vanished from my head, but here it goes)
I’m 17 years old, and at this age you’re expected to know the exact way in which your lif will plan out; which uni you’ll go to, what job you want, how to achieve this and all the other ins and outs of daily life. News flash, if you can do that at 17, I envy you. It’s not easy. How am I meant to do all of that when I don’t even know who I am within myself?! I went shopping with my friend the other day, and honestly, I couldn’t find any clothes I liked, and that got me thinking; what is my style? Who am I? Of course there is so much more to this than choosing which clothes to wear, but this was the start of a realisation for me.
Honestly, I’ve been through much since last blogging. Of course theres been some amazing times, but I’ve also had times where I don’t think I’ll ever get back up from, but it’s not all about me. I’m here to tell you all, that even if you feel you can’t get back up, there is always hope, always someone there; whether thats an internet friend, your best friend since you were 4, or someone you met just yesterday. Most importantly, ITS OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY! It’s okay not to know who you are, what your style is, or who you want to be when you grow up; its okay.
I’m not going to lie to you, even today I’m not feeling my best, I haven’t been for a long time, but as I’m here writing this post for you all but most importantly myself, it shows me that things are getting better and who cares if you don’t know who you want to be? Take every day as it comes and be adventurous! I was debating doing this post once I’d realised what I wanted in life, and knowing exactly who I was, and giving you guys tips; but that’s not reality, sorry society. I may never know who I am inside, I may never be an amazingly outgoing happy person, but I am me and why would I want to change that?
Just remember: ITS OKAY.
I know this post is very random, but I just felt it necessary at this point in time for me, and for a lot of teenagers out there feeling the stress. I really hope you can take something from this and know that its normal to cry, be sad, bottling things up; everyone does it. I’m not the type of person to talk about my feelings, to me it makes it worse, but if you feel you can’t talk to anyone but need to spill out a load of words you simply can’t keep inn anymore, feel free to DM me on instagram here.